Dainų top 10

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 visos vienodai veža, so enjoy ;) )

Walking through your life road and realizing that everything will stay the same in the past; 
time which flew away will never change, but you still have the present; the present of time. 

You ignore the surroundings, ignore closest souls, 
to make yours closer to the another whole. 
Thoughts are lost on path to home, 
and minds are filled with doubts and hopes.

Confused

A couple announcements. Yes, I think I will keep writing in English, because it is way more easier to express myself and it will help me a bit to see my mistakes. Apparently my English teacher thinks I cannot write, well I don't know, I assume. I am trying so hard to write my assignments with full efforts, I get help from my ESL teacher, who by the way says my works are good, but I still keep getting poor marks, and I mean really poor. According to my English teachers given marks I don't know what I am doing. How so..? My last ESL teacher told me I could be a writer, that my writing is good, of course I need some improvements on my grammar and wording, but I have big opportunities to become one. And what I get in English class does not satisfy me, it is ruining me, my hopes, my thinking of that I am actually good, just I still need to learn; it does lower my efforts each time I get that small number on my work sheet... It might seem I am angry, that I dislike her, but I do not. I just don't understand why I get them, she does not properly explain me what I am doing wrong. And I hate that, because I need answers in order to get better. My other ESL teacher said I can be a writer, my present ESL teacher is saying I am good at writing, I get 100%, and my English teacher just gives me 50-60 in my assignments. It is incredibly confusing, because I depend on them, depend on what they are saying, and what they think about my writing. So how can I come up with a conclusion when there is so much different opinions. My minds are just so mixed up that I do not think normally, I was upset first, then I suddenly burst out with lough and now my eyes are filled with tears. I am just going insane, because my brain cannot absorb all of it. And I will probably just end up in mental hospital. Please help.

Or maybe not/ Why

                  I just watched a movie in which a young lady said "how would you know that he is the one. or second, third or fourth... we are looking for someone who just does not exist!" (not the exact quote). That brought me to thinking what do I actually want. I honestly have no idea. I am just looking for someone who probably doesn't exist.
                  I have two worlds. In one there is school, family and friends. The other is just about me and love. You see I am not happy with the second world. Even though I appear smiling and being all positive at school/home and don't get me wrong. I am happy, happy with my friends, who are just awesome and happy with all subjects, because it finally interests me. But there is still something missing. My second world. Which half of it hardly exists. How do I know if I am looking for the right thing, or what am I doing wrong. I am not all knowing narrator who can tell or suggest life lessons. Who the fuck is in the first place... Probably that part of my second world.
                  Every day I am trying to help myself and yes, I did succeed. I did helped, it's much easier to me to communicate. But it's still not the whole. Maybe I miss some details, probably I just react to the most situations wrongly. I do not know! I do not have a single idea how everything works out between two people. How their chemistry just reacts perfectly. How each thread connects masterly...
                  Why it's so hard to understand it. I am the kind of person, who needs to comprehend everything. I mean every, each, single thing. What I want to say by that is I know it's impossible to actually achieve it, however for me it's completely unhealthy, it just eats me alive, rips me apart, makes me scream awfully inside my head.
                   My only and rhetorical question is why from all perspectives. Why this all bizarre thing is happening. Where is its purpose. How human manages to find the answers. When there will be the time for me to find the answer. The thing I do understand, it must be found by myself, which right now looks so terrifying and impossible and at the same time so significant and incredible. For now it's only poor guesses.